Preview : India v Pakistan

Many say this game will decide the fate of these teams in the World Cup

What to expect from this from crunch game:

1. Sledging : No point to it, yahaan sabko Hindi aati hai! Sadly, no more ‘Speak English’ or ‘Maa-ki’ gate. Expect a relatively tame encounter.

2. Betting: Made famous by my favourite commentator Rameez Raja as an advanced form of batting. No matter which team wins, everyone in this game will be accused of match fixing. Guaranteed.

3. Balling : Self explanatory. Started with Moin Khan’s ‘Balling Saqqi’. India are bad in balling. Pakistan are good.

4. Filding : Who cares about this anyway? We just want to see bowlers ‘ball fast’ (like Shoaib Akhtar, with an American accent) and batsman ‘go get it’ (like Sachin with a baby accent). Asians don’t do Jonty.

Can’t wait, less than 24 hours to go.

GAME ON!

Leaked dossier: Ravi Shastri on India’s critical path to World Cup glory

From: Ravi Shastri <Edged_and_taken@TeamIndia.com>

Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2015 9:19 PM

To: MS Dhoni <CaptainCool_ODI@TeamIndia.com>

Cc: Duncan Fletcher <IwontheAshes@TeamIndia.com>

Subject: How to win this World Cup Thing

Hi MS,

Hope you’re keeping well.

Sorry about you getting thrashed by England today. Duncan and I have put our considerable brains together and have come up with a master-plan to help India retain the World Cup. Read More …