Can’t bat, can’t bowl and can’t field. Say hello to the Indian test team (Part 2).

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose – Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

So…nearly two weeks have crawled by since the first part of this post (read part 1 here.)

Ravi Shastri is the new team director. Derbyshire has signed Cheteshwar Pujara. Virat Kohli’s horror run has merely traded formats and coloured clothing for flannels. India lead a series against England 1-0 after the second game (familiar scoreline, anyone?).

The test series defeat still hangs in London’s air like a pall of gloom.

It’s not the defeat that hurts. It’s the gutless manner in which we capitulated – dropping catches, bowling poorly, collapsing innings after innings.

But it was only to be expected. I think it’s rather stupid for anyone to expect our test team to do well abroad. In all honesty, it’s a miracle we still manage to win at home.

Why, then, do we lose test matches?

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England v. India: 4th test match, Old Trafford

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england-v-india-2014/content/image/768589.html?object=667693;page=1

There is no DRS in this series OK?

Watching our beloved Indian team play on Saturday brought back a few memories.

Remember Durban, 1996?100 all out in the first innings. 66 in the second. Oh, we were an inexperienced batting line-up in alien conditions. Did you see that ball from Donald to Sachin?  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyaqXf2_l9k). Totally ridiculous!

And what about Barbados, 1997? 81 all out chasing 121. Come on man, super dodgy fifth day wicket! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XkxHvXE2fY)

As Indian fans, we’re great with coming up with reasons for our inexplicable results.

Which bring us to 9 August 2014, Manchester. 152 all out in the first innings. 161 all out in the second innings. Each Indian innings was shorter than the average Karan Johar movie. As a rational (?) Indian supporter, I’m struggling to justify why we lost. But maybe our superstars can explain things better (starting at the top):

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